Grab it now if you are New Zealands South Island here

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If you are in New Zealand’s South Island then you may purchase and pick up this original hand made piece of rock and roll themed hardwood haberdashery through this link.

See you on the next world,

Charlie.

After my experiences with the Nib Nab Peoples in Gamibia I am back in the land of the living and have just completed, entirely by my own fair hand,  this flight case styled wooden suit, or ahem, coffin for an unlucky friend of a friend! Entirely hand made this custom crafted coffin can be made to your exacting specifications for a highly reasonable stipend, plus shipping. Don’t hesitate to contact me via email if you have any custom casket requirements. I am also offering custom hand built caskets in a range of hues and colours and details of these will be here as soon as I can muster the camera!

Oh, Just one more thing – this coffin is also available with glass shelving within the main body and the lid may also be supplied with legs to use as a table.

Eternally yours,

Charlie.

Cheers,
Charlie Underwood

“Before you meet with God,” St. Peter remarked,  “I thought I should tell you — we’ve looked at your life, and you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything that can help us make a decision?”

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tyre iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with ugly tattoos all over his body and rings through his nose.

Well, I tore the nose ring right out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!”

“I’m impressed,” St. Peter responded, “When did this happen?”

“About two minutes ago,” came the reply.

People often ask me what kind of music I listen to while I’m building my caskets and coffins, after all, you’d think it was quite a lonesome and maybe even a sad  task, but, to be honest with you it’s a labour of love for me.

I don’t really see it as the end, more like a chance to make a new start and when it comes to religion; well I think it’s up to each and every man to make his own choices!

Because I make each casket and coffin by my own hand I get plenty of time to listen to the radio and sometimes I just have to laugh when a certain song gets me laughing.

It’s no laughing matter to some but I nearly lost a finger in the bandsaw when “Going Underground” came on today!

See you soon, Charlie.

my name is Charlie Underwood and I’m a traveling casket, coffin and cabinet maker. I came into this business entirely by accident. My great grandfather, Washington Underwood, journeyed to the Indian subcontinent where he had attempted to forge an empire from an exotic coffee bean given to him by an Ethiopean mystic. During a nasty bout of malaria my grandfather’s heartbeat was irreversibly changed and he could speak only with a stutter.

One afternoon during a fracas with the Governor’s men in Ganjam, Orissa my fathers heart finally gave up the ghost and he met his untimely end.

Drawing his sabre high and clutching his sacred grounds, he fell backward into a well and expired. The remainder of the family were thrown below with feral cats and left to starve.

When the bodies were returned home my blind father, Zedoch Underwood, crafted caskets of exquisite design…a tradition that I continue, nobly and slowly to this very day. A tradition that I now can offer to you.

Yours,

Charlie Underwood.